I HATE IT!

I hate it!

I hate it when peace is disturbed!

Disturbed by people who love anarchy.

Anarchy is what they want to impose over democracy

Democracy that we are enjoying,

Enjoying because our great grandfathers and mothers fought for it.

I hate it!

Rebels who sow chaos and hatred in Mindanao,

Pretending to be people of Allah (SWT),

But who do not follow the Holy Quran,

Nor the noble teachings of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).

Who dont respect our brothers in faith,

Nor accept our brothers in the Gospel.

They just want the Muslim land for their own,

Because the truth is they are hungry of power.

I hate It!

This hunger for power resulted in war,

War that killed Muslims and Christians.

They dont realize that the blood of the people they killed

Will be required of them on the other life.

Allah (SWT) will require of them, every drop of blood that was shed

For this injustices civilians have suffered under the hands of their own brothers.

The Man In The Mirror

The Man in the Mirror

I can see the man in front of me smiling. That smile! a smile of the one who after all the hardship and the storms that comes in his way had made it this far.

He is the man who have learned not to depend on any body and still beleives that no man is an island. He is the man without the physical beauty but has the goodness of the heart.

Who is this man staring at me with tears flowing from his eyes? Will he drown me with sadness? If only the mirror could see what this man is holding in his heart. If only the people could see beyond the skindeep.

If only the people will see what this man is trying to show. If only he can have his voice be heard even outside the mirror. If only people will not only look but see.

The man without a voice. The man hiding within himself. The man trapped in the mirror.

Life is full of tough choices

Life is full of tough choices.

Life is a never ending highway with so many crossroads. Where am I to go next? After bidding goodbye to so many friends from different multinational corporations and offices I have worked with, I am now into another crossroad.

Where am I to go next? To the right or to the left? Will I stay in my lane on the highway, cruising my comfort zone or choose to break it and take another challenge in my life?

Oh Life! its full of tough choices, indeed!

The War in Mindanao

The war that is happening in Mindanao is not only recently but since before I was born, it is already there.

During the Marcos time up to the current regimen, they never stop bombing or militarized Mindanao. There is no peace there for a very long time.

The current issue of the Bangsamoro Juridical Entity that has hugged the limelight that even those people who don't seem to understand the history of Mindanao has dipped their hands on the issue by forwarding emails with hate content against the Muslims in the Philippines. These emails have been running around the web highway through ignorant people who think that by forwarding those messages make them a nationalist or a true Filipino.

Not realizing that they become prey to those who want to sow chaos in Mindanao and disseminate propaganda against the Muslims, they keep on forwarding disturbing commentaries and unverified documents. The issue of having MOA with MILF for the BJE is very sensitive that if not handled with care by those people with personal interest and those people who truly and wholeheartedly loved the Philippines, will result in civil war or moreso of religious war between Christians and Muslims not only in Mindanao but in the country as a whole.

I appeal to my fellow Filipinos to be vigilant but let our democratic system in the hands of the Executive, Legislative and Judiciary work for a lasting peace and order not only in Mindanao but for the whole archipelago. Let us trust that these leaders will do their duty to preserve the unity of the people for the common good of the Muslims and Christians.

We have given them the power to do what is right not for themselves but for us. We have voted for our leaders to serve our country, to serve us, and not us to serve whatever they desire for their personal gains.

Be careful my fellow Filipinos in forwarding unscrupulous messages and commentaries. Let us discern if their intention is for the good of everyone. We will not loose our being a true and genuine Filipino, by blood and/or by choice, by keeping ourselves, stop for a while and think if what we will forward will make us proud or we will regret what we have done.

My dear brothers and sisters, be humble as a dove but be wise as a serpent.

Mabuhay ang Pilipinas! Long live the Philippines!

I want to thank the composer of the song that I have shared. Its my song since my college days.

MY HEART (ANG PUSO KO) Part II

Puso ko'y ibong ligaw sa landas ng buhay,
(My heart is like a swallow in the bridge of life)

Nililibot ang ulap wala namang sinusundan.
(Soaring high in the clouds with nowhere to fly to)

Lipad ng kapalaran ko kahit gaano man kakulay,
(No matter how colorful my fate soars)

Bumabagsak parin taglay ang damdaming sugatan
(I still fall with my broken heart)

MY HEART (ANG PUSO KO)

The song of my heart

"Puso ko'y bangkang papel sa dagat ng buhay,

(My heart is like a paper boat in the ocean of life)

Inaanod ng alon, Walang lakas na lumaban.

(I am being carried by the waves, but I have no strenght to fight)

Kastilyo ng mga pangarap kahit gaano man katibay,

(No matter how strong the castle of my dreams maybe)

Ay dagling nabubuwal sa bawat kabiguan."

(It crumbles down in my failures)

The Heart

The Heart

I always hear songs about love and the heart. They say that you have to listen to your heart in what it says or dictates. That if you listen to your heart, you will find true happiness.

Well, I beg to disagree. Dont you know that the heart is deceitful of all things? Its according to the bible...

But before you react against this, listen to me! I dont say that you dont listen to your heart, ever. What I am trying to say is, listen not only to your heart but also with your mind. The mind or our brain is located higher than our heart, we have to use it, listen also to it.

If you combine your mind and your heart, you will never go wrong...LOVE YOU!

Islam is Peace, indeed!

Islam is peace, indeed!

I read from one blogger that Islam means peace.

Let me speak from my experience. I was a christian two years ago when I started to study deeper about Islam and Muslims. It was two years ago when I embraced Islam as my own true religion, Allah is my god and Muhammad is my prophet.

I always hear that Muslims are terrorists and violence-loving people. The perception of the world is if you are a Muslim, you will bring chaos or spread terror in the community. But I want to tell you my friends that Islam is for peace and unity.

However, there are Muslims as well as Christians who were may be blinded by their own love for power that forget that religions teach only good things for mankind. There are Muslims as well as Christians who are doing bad. There are Muslims as well as Christians inside the prisons because they rob, they murdered, they killed.

But being one who beleives in the grace of Allah, each one is accountable for his being. No other person is to carry our loads. If I do bad for other people, it is only I who will be punished. If I do good for other people, it will only be me who will be rewarded. Yes, we can ask help. But it will always be us who will submit to Allah, whether we do good or bad.

So my dear friends, instead of thinking about what bad others are doing to his mankind, lets us contemplate and look within ourselves. Are we worthy of Allah's grace and mercy? Are we doing good because others can see? Do we deserve punishment or reward?

Let me remind all of us. We alone, not our father or mother, our brother or sister, or our neighbors, or our officemates or schoolmates who are accountable for all deeds we do, whether good or bad. We are all accountable to our own god, and to our Allah!

Life is what we make it

I still beleive that no matter how hard other people push for their beliefs and lifestyle, or cultures on me, I will still be ME!

For it is I who create my own self and it is my decision to whoever and whatever and where ever I am now. It is I who choose to be happy or to be sad...To be with friends or to be alone.

Because I will always be me... I am unique. I have my own thoughts and aspirations. And my life is what I make out of it...

I am Me!

My First Class Flight

I went for vacation last month (June 2008) to see and take care of my Mom who will undergo surgery. June 4 was my flight date and its hot and humid. I arrived early in Bahrain International Airport where I will take Etihad flight to Abu Dhabi then to Manila.

The checkin counter opened up one hour before the flight and my plan is to shop for things from the Duty Free. But I got pissed off when I thought I wont have enough time to shop around because I have to take my dinner first. Anyway, I was able to do my shopping.

Then when the plane landed at Abu Dhabi airport, we have to walk on the tarmac because the airport is still under construction. It was very humid and I was sleepy and tired. So my temper is not good.

Luckily, on the plane to Manila, I was upgraded to First Class, so I had a great time, sleeping and eating on the plane.

Same thing happened last July 3, from my flight back to Abu Dhabi then to Bahrain. My flight was upgraded to first class so I was able to relax and my travel was great.

Thanks to Etihad Airways. What a way to fly, First Class!

My Gratitude to All of you

I want to express that I am grateful for all of my friends and to all of you who have shared and chose to be one with me in praying for the fast recovery of my Mom who had a surgery a month ago, June 15 to be precise.

The surgery was a success and the examination of the lymphnodes and other internal organs which was taken out came out as benign. Alhamduli'Allah'. Salamat sa Diyos, Thank God!

Now, Im back to Khobar and working again. See you again on my blogsite or yours.

Happiness

Money is not everything

When I resigned from my work as an accountant and accepted the position of a secretary in an investment company, the first question asked is how much am I given by the company that I accepted a position "lower" than my previous one.

To tell you frankly, not much. Its is only SAR 100 higher than as an accountant. But I decided to accept the position because I feel it is my fate or qadar because it came on a time that I asked Allah (SWT) to give me a new job.

I was not happy on my previous job not because that I didnt like the work. But I didnt like the way they are treating the Filipinos. But I realized that in Saudi Arabia or in any other country, there will always be discrimination. Even if you have the same faith or religion, discrimination and unfair treatments will always be there.

But my principle is this, if I am not happy, I will let go. I will go and search the one who will make me at peace with my self. Because life is so short, life should be lived to its fullest, to our satisfaction, to our contentment. But no amount of money or material things will ever make me happy.

To be with my family, my friends, my pets, and my dreams will make me say:I am really happy.

What a Day!

Today is a very long day. I thought it will be an easy day at work but it turn out, it isn't. Whew!!!

Anyway, i'm just here in my flat doing nothing and observing my AC if it will fail to work as usual or not. Luckily, it just bogged down for 15 minutes and has been giving out cold air since then.

But tomorrow, I will have my new AC. It will be a split type and will solve my problem with the 8 month old window type one.

So, goodbye old AC, hello new AC. I will be able to sleep on the bed tomorrow, as I will sleep again on the floor tonight, hopefully for the last time!

Im Grateful to all of You

To all of you who has joined me praying for my mom's journey through a series of examinations regarding her cyst in her ovary, Thank you very much. The doctors' findings are better than expected. Though she still has to go under the knife, its a relief to hear its not cancer.

It is because you have prayed for her. Please continue to pray for my mom's recovery. Hopefully, on June 20, I can be at her side when she will have the surgical operation.

Again, thanks a gazillion times!!!

Subprime

Wikipedia's definition of Subprime lending, also called B-Paper, near-prime, or second chance lending, is the pratice of making loans to borrowers who do not qualify for the best market interest rates because of their deficient credit history.

As a former loans officer of a bank in the Philippines, these are loans with high interest rate & borrowers have poor credit history, and that makes it risky. A subprime describes the borrower and not the interest of the loan. But because it is high risk, it is not an ideal loan.

The risk here is the ability of the borrower to meet the obligation to repay. Mostly, these borrowers becomes the victims as the mortgaged properties are foreclosed or put under litigation.

As it is not ideal, it is a poor quality loan as opposed to best loans, where the borrower is able to meet the obligation on time, no matter how bad the economy is.

Subprime loan is below par, deficient and sub standard.

The question is, if the borrower is categorized as subprime, why are banks and other financial institutions approved the loan?

My Way

Many people choose the road that is wide and easy, where many people go. Other people choose the road less traveled.

I don’t want to go where many people go, or on the road where few people trace. I want to make my own roads, new roads where my I want to leave my own tracts and own trail.
A road unconventional but effective, maybe long or wide, maybe curved and dark. But these roads will lead me to what I want to be and had lead me to what I become, now.
There may be jeepneys, cars, or motorcycles. Or carriages drawn by a carabaos or horses. There might be bullet trains and trams, or planes and ferries. But one thing is for sure, I will make it there. Im getting there. On my own, my way…

Today, aside from being busy in the office, I received a big news from my Mom.

She calmly told me that she is under observation and undergone a laser surgery to get some flesh inside her for biopsy. She told me her gynecologist told her she has cancer. Well, as we are miles away from each other, I feel she is strong and not so fearful unlike me.

This is what people feel when they got news of the big C - fear. I felt fear but not for my Mom but more of for my Father. Who will take care of my Father if my Mom will undergo a major surgery? My father is totally dependent to my Mom.

My Mom is a superwoman. She is strong and always calm. I told her not to worry but deep inside me, there are jitters and butterflies. I was not able to eat my dinner properly. But now that we dont know yet the Laboratory Examination results, I am confident it is not cancer. Or if is, it is curable by one operation or surgery.

So, please pray for my mother's health, please.

Investments

Being new with Investments and the world market news are giving people jitters, there are words commonly used but very technical. Ordinary people without background on business or is not adept to banking, economics, investments and money markets can hardly understand what is going on.

And as I realized that being there in that dilemna, I will give some definitions regarding technical vocabularies we usually read in the papers and hear in the news, according to my researches and consultations with Portfolio managers that I am around with.

And also, you my friends can also share by giving comments on my blog. You can also correct me but please, be subtle.

A Question We have To Answer

Do you love me because you need me or do you need me because you love me?

Most people if not all, expect that the love they give is given back. But for me, not that I am being idealistic, my love is always – I need you because I love you. And when I love, I give it all, all that I have and all that I got. Nothing is reserved for myself. That is why I am most susceptible to being heart-broken. And moving on is the hardest thing to do because I don’t know where to start since I don’t have anything left for myself but me.

Yes, I, me and myself. Hey, I am still alive and I have to move on. I don’t care if I was hurt because I have loved. It is better to love and be hurt than not to have loved at all.

If you were asked this question, what would be your answer?

The Basic Process of Recycling Paper

It was in 1995 that I took a course on making handmade papers at the Product Design Development Center of the Philippines. We were taught how to make papers from grasses and other indigenous materials that we can find around us.
Here, I will share the basic process of recycling paper.

You will need :
A blender (If you don’t have a blender, you can use a mortar and pestle)
Newspapers or other printed papers (cut into small pieces)
Water
A Big basin
Silk screen molder – 8in. by 12 in.
A towel or sponge
Dye of your choice

The Process:
Soak the papers in water for 2 hours or better if you soak it overnight.

Put the papers inside the blender and blend until it becomes almost beaten up well. (This is called pre pulping).

Transfer the blended papers in the basin. You can add chlorine and rinse the papers well.

After rinsing the papers, add water to your desired thickness of the paper you want to make. Remember, the more water you use, the thinner the paper you can make.

Put dye of your desired color.

Then in a separate bowl, mash the okra with a cup of water, then strain in the basin. This will make the water become silky that will make you strain the pulp evenly through the silkscreen molder.

Then sift the pulp through the silkscreen molder.

Use the towel or the sponge to take out excess water from the pulp. Then place it under the sun or near the window.

When it is dry, you can peel it off the molder.

*Remember : Practice Makes Perfect*

Extra Mile

What the heck! People who works for the money alone will not understand this. Those people whose work ethics is different from mine will never understand what the extra mile is really all about.

If you are from the Human Resources Department, you will understand this. The extra mile means doing more than what is your regular work. If your employer is expecting that you give 100% of your knowledge and talent, you give 150%. The 50% extra is the extra mile.

In the Philippine Corporate setting, when you are just applying for a job, the interviewer will ask you questions that will give the interviewer a hint or idea that you are the one that is not only capable of doing the job but who will give more than what is expected. I am proud to say that most Filipinos I know are trying to do their best for their employer, trying to give the extra mile.

Sad to say but those people whose motivation to work is the money and compensation will only give their 100%. And more than that, they have to be compensated even for little things they do for the company. It will never bother them to take the initiative to give more if there is no monetary consideration. Lest, they are the one who will ridicule you or laugh behind you and say you are crazy for doing more than what is expected of you.

Thanks to my Alma Mater, my faith and my upbringing. Or maybe thanks for being a Filipino. I was brought up in a family that taught me to be responsible not only for my self and family but also for our neighbors and to the community. The initiative that is being taught in our schools and universities, the good deeds that are being inculcated in our hearts and minds are our weapons in the arena of corporate world where fierce competition takes place in order to survive and to advance in our career up to the ladder of success.

Though we are not always correct and being human we are susceptible to mistakes, taking that extra mile will not only serve as our cushion in the effects of our mistakes but also will help us minimize our mistakes.

My principle is that it doesn’t matter how hard my work is or how much I give to my Employer or Company, as long as my Employer or Company will never be able to say that I did them wrong or stole something from them. It is always more blessed to give than to receive. As long as I am not the one stealing from my employer or company by coming in late and leaving the office early or just in exact time, or doing personal things rather than doing official responsibilities, I will continue to give the EXTRA MILE.

I will give it because its within me. It’s a virtue that no one can take away from me. You may judge me as crazy, I don’t care. For I know I can sleep well without worry. Because in giving the extra mile, I have my integrity intact and as solid as platinum.

F r I En D s

I have ten (10) friends who I can call real friends when we were still single. Well, I am still single and they entered the married life.

We were so close that it didn’t come to my mind that the time to separate our ways will come. No text messages, no calls, no emails! Whew! Maybe they are just busy with their family lives that they forget they still have friends waiting for them.

What is a friend? The most common definition - a friend is the one who is always there no matter how high or low the level of your life is. A friend who is always there when you are happy or sad, a victor or a looser, strong or weak.

I felt they have changed. They are not my friends anymore. Because they are not there anymore in any circumstance of my life. But life has to move on. With or without them. Thanks to them that I have learned what is being a friend.

Now, I have new friends. I have a lot of them. More than what I have before but the difference is not only in numbers but in the attitude and the meaning of our friendship, through thick and thin. I am alone here in Saudi Arabia, miles away from my friends who themselves are continents apart. But we are still together. No only in emails, phone calls, text messages and chatting, but also in prayers.

We were bound by the events that happened when we were together, when we were working together, and celebrating the success of another. We were bound by the experiences that we shared and the heartaches that we felt. We are happy for the success of each other. Or we are sad for the mistakes that were made by another. They have their own family and yet they didn’t desert me, nor I deserted them.

And that is what friends are for.

BESTFRIENDS

There I was, crying inside a chapel for a miracle. Miracle for whom?

Actually, I was 7 years old and my bird died two days after my grandfather was buried. That bird was given by my uncle and from the first day I was really attached to the bird that I will never take my meal unless he took his.

I was, in fact, I am a softy when it comes to pets : birds, fishes and dogs. I even dream of taking care of snakes. And here, I want to share a part of my life spent with my three lovable pets – my dogs.

Aside from my birds, and fishes (where I got my scar in my forehead), I had three dogs. Actually, its only three that I can truly call my own. But the reality is I was surrounded by dogs when I was a boy. My father had a german shepherd. A very big dog, big body and taller than me when he sits. My uncle, the one who gave the bird, had a golden retriever who is very dear to me. Her name was Peachy. And her pups that I even helped to be born. I was the only one who can touch her when she was bringing out her pups to the world. I even consider taking up veterinary science in college. At her old age, I was the one with her, because I grew up with her. Until one day, she had breathed her last.

But my story is for my first dog, Snoop. He was a Japanese Spitz given by my former girlfriend. I called him Snoop because he was always snoopy. When he was a puppy, he used to sleep on my belly. He would jump in my bed and will lay and sleep over my flat abs, then (lol).

I left him over my mother’s care when I got a job in Manila And I would visit our province as often I as could just to see how he was doing (of course, my parents, too). My mother spoiled him that he became choosy with food. But his favorite was chicken and vegetables like cabbage and carrots.

What’s amusing with Snoop is that he would sing with me whenever he hears our favorite CDs of old songs from Elvis and Frank Sinatra. He was so wonderful. I loved him and he gave his love back to us. He was my other best friend.

In 1997, two years after we transferred to our new house, he got loose and never came back. W asked all our neighbors but couldn’t tell us where my Snoop was. For weeks. I was very lonely and even shed tears whenever I feed my other pet dog, Nikki or Nik-Nik.

Snoop was one year old when Nik-Nik came to us. She was a tiny black dog, always crying and very afraid with people. Nobody dared to touch her because she would scream and tend to bite whoever tried to touch her. But I dared to touch her and she calmed down and let me caress her. I tried to tell her not to worry and that I would never hurt her. From then on, she was mine. She would always run to me for comfort as what Snoop do to me.

Snoop was pure white, and Nikki was pure shiny black dog. There was something special with Nikki. She would always try to embrace me, literally. She would embrace me tight as if she was a person. She would always cry whenever she sees me leaving the house as if telling that she wants to come with me. Oh, I loved that dog.

Even when I went back for vacation, coming from Saudi Arabia in 2005, she never changed. Though her black hair was not as jet black as before, there was streak of white hairs all over the body and in her snout, though her eyes were not as sharp as before, she didn’t forget me. And me, I still prepared her meals whenever possible. But in 2006, I learned that she died of pneumonia and of old age. This added to my depression of being away from home.

But wait! I still have another dog. His name is Spike. A very adorable, bubbly sheepdog. It is the first time that I saw a grayish blue color in his long and curly hair. But he is of the medium size sheepdog.

When Snoop got lost, I was so lonely and my uncle (I’m my uncles’ pet) noticed it and my mom told him the reason. One day he brought me a bubbly puppy, who’s always kissing everyone, runs to the house, bark with excitement, filling the house with joy. He is Spike.

Every summer, we would trim his hair to prevent heat stroke. He likes to be fed with my hands (how spoiled!). He will bark at me and smells his food but will never eat unless I feed him with my hands. It is only me that can do that. Maybe Spike knew that I will do everything for him. He always guards me and sleep besides my bed. He would always bark at me to awaken me when it is time to prepare for the office.

Now that I am based in a country where seeing a single dog is as seldom as we experience rain, I miss them a lot. They are my friends who are very loyal and dependable. Who will always listen to your litany of problems and frustrations. Having a not so happy childhood, they are my refuge. Now that two of them are gone and the one left is miles away. Sharing my experiences eases at least a little bit the pain and loneliness that I have.

The Bath House

Last night I watched a Filipino film. Its a sort of low budgeted and maybe an indie film. However, it doesn't matter. What matters most is that it tackles the reality of life. Next time, i will write on it because while watching the movie, I remember a friend, a very good friend.

Ciao,

Getting Used To...

I live miles away from home...
I have been separated from my family for a long time
Sometimes I get depress, sometimes I get lonely,
But just the same, I'll get used to it.

I miss everything Filipino
I miss eating on a floating restaurant,
With the birds singing their lullabies,
As the stream rushes through the ricefields
and the smoke from the coal-roasted fish
Okra and aubergine with fish sauce and calamansi
Over a newly cooked jasmine rice
But just the same, I'll get used to live without them.

Here, broasted chicken is staple,
With the original Shawarma prepared by a Turkish Chef,
Indian and Pakistani food like Hamdi and Korma,
So tasty and yummy!
But dont worry, I'll get used to these.

More often than not, I think of you
The warmth of your embrace
And the sweet tender kisses we shared.
The 'I love you' we whispered
Our hands that caressed each curves and humps
And now without you by my side
When will I get used to this?

My First

There is a saying that in everything there is always a first time. And people who love you are trying to be there whenever they can to capture the never ending 'firsts'.

Where were you then during my first...?